Struggle

Struggle.

That pretty much sums up how I feel.  I am struggling to lose weight.  I struggle daily with Aria and her defiant attitude.  I struggle to figure out what to make for super. I struggle to be content.  I struggle with past failures. And now, I am struggling with what to do for a job.

I will be losing my job on or before December 16.  My boss will not approve my leave request for Christmas so that we can drive home to Kansas.  I work a retail job and the holidays are a busy time.  I get that.  But I am also the bookkeeper and therefore the last person that should help anyone trying to order flowers due to my lack of experience with flowers.  (Yes, I have worked there nearly 3 years and should have some clue by now, but I really don't.)  I could also understand the need for my presence if other people weren't called in to help answer the phones and such - but there are people that are called in.  Again, no need for me.

I was also told that I needed to start working 40 hours a week beginning in January.  I left my job at the turf place to go work at the flower shop in the first place because NET wanted me full-time and I was only looking for part-time so I could stay home at least some with my daughter and now daughters.  Yes - I screwed up big time years ago and that is why I am even in the situation where I have to work in the first place.  But I don't think I should mess things up further by working full time and leaving my kids in someone else's hands 40+hrs a week.

If I could just turn back time and do things differently, things would be so much better right now...      

Padink

You may have noticed that I changed the name of the blog again.  I'm fickle that way - I want something clever or catchy, not something boring and mundane.  So for now, the name is Padink.

Why "Padink" you may ask?  Well Padink was an adjective that my parents used to describe me in high school (and for all I know, they still may very well use it to continue to describe me).  It then became the personalized license plate on my car at the time.  They would often say that I "padink" around - meaning that I would goof around instead of doing some thing important.  Or I would continue to put off doing something important.  I don't think they would say that I was lazy - just easily distracted. 

I see the same pattern forming in Aria.  Grant and I will often say Squirl! when we witness Aria getting distracted after we have given her a task to complete.  (by the way the squirl reference comes from the movie Up! in case you didn't know)   It is funny and frustrating all at the same time.  How can I get upset with her for something that I myself do too?

So how does one break this pattern?  I'm not sure, but since I am at work right now I should probably finish my tasks at hand and stop "padinking" around...

Saturdays

This is our family blog.

I decided that we should join the blogging bandwagon and start our own as well.  I'm on the computer everyday, and I have become really bad about writing in my journal, so why not "record" things on here?  So here goes nothing...

I love what Saturday mornings have become - just sad that I will be losing this new "love" soon.  You see, Saturday mornings are when Grant takes Aria to her gym and swim class and I get to stay home and enjoy the quiet.  Brielle usually sleeps later on Saturdays (but don't worry - she is usually up around 3 or 4 and then goes back down - so it's not like I get to enjoy a full night of sleep and then peace and quiet).  Even when Brielle is awake, things are still WAY more quiet around here w/o the two members of the family that crave noise.  The dogs nap while I clean, bake or get caught up on bills (exciting, I know).  I even get a longer than 5 minute shower (score!).  It is simply delightful.  All of my fun will end after October 29 though when Aria's class is done.

I wonder where I can send them in November?